unworthy or worthy?

Sabi ng isa sa smallgroup ko dati.. Ako daw yung taong hindi makikita sa everyday life nila.. yung tipong bihira lang nila maeencounter sa buhay nila.. Sabi naman nung isa.. nakaka-amaze daw ako, kakaiba daw ako, nakakahinayang lang kasi kaunti lang yung close ko.. or should I say ilan lang sila.. Haha dalawa lang ata sila??

But then, di ko alam pero bigla na lang pumasok sa isip ko.. Kung ganun ako.. bakit ako iniiwan ng tao sa paligid ko?? bakit sila nawawala?? bakit walang nagsstay bilang pinakamalapit sa'kin?? Bakit walang nag-eeffort na mangamusta?? I think I'm just really not important to them... I'm worthless...

Then this 113015 .. Even the day before,I was just really stressed.. di ko alam ang gagawin o sasabihin.. gusto kong tumakbo palayo.. malayong malayo.. gusto kong umiyak ng umiyak.. gusto kong maglaho.. yung tipong "Lord tama na po yung pain".. :( there's a different battle within myself :( at dahil nga doon.. nagkagulo-gulo na at may nadamay ng kaibigan.. seriously.. I need a friend at that moment.. :( kaso nasaktan ko pa yung kaisa-isang taong napagsasabihan ko :( It was painful but it became even more painful.. :( :( Nung natulog ako, mabigat pa rin sa pakiramdam.. I was just crying and crying.. yung feeling na ayoko na.. ayoko na lang magising.. gusto kong magpakalayo.. but no! kahit gusto kong magdeavtivate ng account sa facebook ayoko.. kasi may mga taong mahalaga sa'kin dun na gusto kong malaman ang kalagayan..

From this pain.. I'm still asking myself am I really worth it? Were there people who really care about  and understand what I feel??

Then I realized.. "hey jam.. There's a God who's always been with you.. There's a God who cares.." I've became so selfish minding only my own emotions/ feelings.. Though sinasabi ko na minsan na "Lord selfless na po eh. Masakit na po.. Kulang pa po ba?" Then a picture of Christ dying on the cross will suddenly appear on my mind.. Enduring the pain.. Becoming so selfless.. 

YOU ARE WORTHY IN GOD'S EYES.. nung last time na nag-uusap kami ni Dar, tumatak daw sa isip niya yung sinabi ko na, "bakit mo hahanap yung worth mo sa ibang tao eh kay Lord naman makikita mo yun..."

People are not perfect.. Nasasaktan din sila.. At kung ikaw ang nakasakit you should face the consequence.. Be humble enough to ask for forgiveness.. Wag mong isipin na bakit ikaw ang mag-a-ask ng forgiveness eh nasaktan ka din naman... Yes, you are! take the first step to ask for forgiveness .. bakit? Kasi naramdaman mo yung worth mo kay Christ.. na kahit hndi maganda ugali mo mahal ka pa din Niya...

again.. people might fail to make you feel how important you are but then, always remember... there is Someone up above who knows you are worth it.. you are worth having.. you are LOVED :) ... there is Someone up above who cares and understand what you feel :) ... there is Someone up above who will never leave you nor forsake you :)