Malayo

Asan ka na?
Parang ang tagal na ng huli tayong nagkita at nagkausap..
Mas masaya ba dyan kesa dito?
Akala ko saglit ka lang mawawala.. Pero dumaan ang linggo.. buwan.. sumunod na mga buwan.. hanggang umabot na ng taon.. Wala ka pa din..
Sagot mo.. andyan ka lang naman.. Nagaantay na may magaabot ng kamay.. Nagaantay na may makakarinig sa puso mong umiiyak at sumisigaw ng 'tulong'.. nagaantay sa taong tutulong sa'yo para ikaw ay makabalik pero wala..
Pagod ka na.. Mas marami ng tanong ng 'bakit? Paano? at hanggang kelan?' ang tumatakbo sa iyong isipan.. pero sa gitna ng kapaguran, isang mainit na yakap ang nagpaalala sa'yo kung sino ba talaga ang kailangan mo..
Hindi mo pa din alam kung paano makakabalik.. pero lagi mong tandaan na Siya lang ang kailangan mo.. lumayo ka man ng pagkalayo-layo.. hindi Siya mapapagod sundan at ibalik ka sa piling Niya..

lumaban ka.. Laban lang.. di ka nag-iisa.. makakabalik ka rin :)

need YOU now...

it's been a long journey...
too many ups and downs...
I've been wounded and hurt..
will I ever be healed?

I've been running too far..
I thought I was happy...
but in the end,
I see myself crying...

I'm tired and weak..
don't know what road to take..
I need Your hands..
can You take me in Your arms?

reminder

No matter how many times people in this world made you feel that you're worthless.. always remind your self that God will ALWAYS say to you that:


You are LOVED.
You are WORTHY.
You are FORGIVEN.
You are MADE FOR MORE.


Dont mind the pain and the scars.. God can heal and comfort you :)




Still fighting,
Bulalay 👽

sa tamang panahon :)



Yung darating yung araw na pagtatawanan natin yung oras na hinampas hampas mo ko at yung oras na sobrang takot at kaba ka dahil sa first timer ka sa church.. aantayin ko yung araw na yun.. Yung araw kung san naggrow ka na at sa araw na yun nirereminisce lang natin lahat kung paano nagsimula yung journey mo kay God :)


PS. Sa araw na yun, sana buhay pa ko para sabay tayong nakikipagfellowship kay God :) at kung wala na ko, I hope and I pray na magkita tayo sa langit at dun tayo makikipagfellowship kay God at magkkwentuhan ng ginawa Niya sa buhay natin :)


iloveyoudearestBestfriend :)

unknown..

I miss you... yes YOU ARE! I miss your voice.. Your beautiful voice that sounds like an angel when you sing.. I miss the way you smile.. Yes your smile that inspire me.. I miss the way you laugh, the way you speak, the way you joke.. I miss the whole you :(

I was surprised that you're now leaving everything behind .. You're leaving me :'( I was calming myself saying it's okay coz i know you'll be happier with your choice but it was really painful :(  ..and everytime I remember you... one phrase will always come out of my mind.. 'I miss you' :( :)

Thank you for being my secret friend.. My secret inspiration.. My secret smile.. and I know all of these things I said were unknown to you or to anyone because it's a secret that I keep between me myself and I.. and of course with God :)
I will really miss you :( :)

something weird :3

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept my faith."

2 Timothy 4:7

weird feeling.

seriously!

haha... malapit na bang matapos ang time ko sa mundo?

I don't know...

nakakakaba? nakakatakot?

Hindi ko talaga alam...

nakakatawa na ewan.. feeling ko mamamatay na ko.. haha bakit ang daming out of nowhere nag-te-thank you sa'kin bigla.. hala! haha grabe nakakaloka sila.. tapos habang nagaayos ng settings sa facebook, I dont know bakit na-click ko yung sa "legacy contact (a legacy contact is someone you choose to manage your account after you pass away)" .. sa sobrang kaba ko., inekis ko yun .. :( nakakaloka na ewan talaga...

anyways.. seriously speaking...

Pinapakalma ko talaga yung sarili ko.. first thing.. wala naman akong dapat ikatakot or what kasi nasa buhay ko na si Christ.. siguro may takot para dun sa taong nasa paligid ko.. wala lang.. haha Pero kung ano man ang mangyari.. gusto ko yung time na meron ako dito sa earth magamit ko ng tama :) ayokong sayangin yung time ko.. ayokong mag-give up.. ayokong mawala in my walk in my faith.. gusto ko kung times up na ko sa earth datnan ako ni God na tapat na naglilingkod sa Kanya..

yung verse sa taas.. ayun yung gusto kong sabihin kung matapos na ang time ko dito sa earth.. :)

no matter what happen.. I want to stay focused on Him... I want to continue living for Him.. I want to inspire people.. I want to be  faithful.. 

enough na yung 'for me' .. dapat 'for Him' na :) 

unworthy or worthy?

Sabi ng isa sa smallgroup ko dati.. Ako daw yung taong hindi makikita sa everyday life nila.. yung tipong bihira lang nila maeencounter sa buhay nila.. Sabi naman nung isa.. nakaka-amaze daw ako, kakaiba daw ako, nakakahinayang lang kasi kaunti lang yung close ko.. or should I say ilan lang sila.. Haha dalawa lang ata sila??

But then, di ko alam pero bigla na lang pumasok sa isip ko.. Kung ganun ako.. bakit ako iniiwan ng tao sa paligid ko?? bakit sila nawawala?? bakit walang nagsstay bilang pinakamalapit sa'kin?? Bakit walang nag-eeffort na mangamusta?? I think I'm just really not important to them... I'm worthless...

Then this 113015 .. Even the day before,I was just really stressed.. di ko alam ang gagawin o sasabihin.. gusto kong tumakbo palayo.. malayong malayo.. gusto kong umiyak ng umiyak.. gusto kong maglaho.. yung tipong "Lord tama na po yung pain".. :( there's a different battle within myself :( at dahil nga doon.. nagkagulo-gulo na at may nadamay ng kaibigan.. seriously.. I need a friend at that moment.. :( kaso nasaktan ko pa yung kaisa-isang taong napagsasabihan ko :( It was painful but it became even more painful.. :( :( Nung natulog ako, mabigat pa rin sa pakiramdam.. I was just crying and crying.. yung feeling na ayoko na.. ayoko na lang magising.. gusto kong magpakalayo.. but no! kahit gusto kong magdeavtivate ng account sa facebook ayoko.. kasi may mga taong mahalaga sa'kin dun na gusto kong malaman ang kalagayan..

From this pain.. I'm still asking myself am I really worth it? Were there people who really care about  and understand what I feel??

Then I realized.. "hey jam.. There's a God who's always been with you.. There's a God who cares.." I've became so selfish minding only my own emotions/ feelings.. Though sinasabi ko na minsan na "Lord selfless na po eh. Masakit na po.. Kulang pa po ba?" Then a picture of Christ dying on the cross will suddenly appear on my mind.. Enduring the pain.. Becoming so selfless.. 

YOU ARE WORTHY IN GOD'S EYES.. nung last time na nag-uusap kami ni Dar, tumatak daw sa isip niya yung sinabi ko na, "bakit mo hahanap yung worth mo sa ibang tao eh kay Lord naman makikita mo yun..."

People are not perfect.. Nasasaktan din sila.. At kung ikaw ang nakasakit you should face the consequence.. Be humble enough to ask for forgiveness.. Wag mong isipin na bakit ikaw ang mag-a-ask ng forgiveness eh nasaktan ka din naman... Yes, you are! take the first step to ask for forgiveness .. bakit? Kasi naramdaman mo yung worth mo kay Christ.. na kahit hndi maganda ugali mo mahal ka pa din Niya...

again.. people might fail to make you feel how important you are but then, always remember... there is Someone up above who knows you are worth it.. you are worth having.. you are LOVED :) ... there is Someone up above who cares and understand what you feel :) ... there is Someone up above who will never leave you nor forsake you :)